No man may twice visit the same country

We’re well past halfway point of year 2 of the challenges and despite the setbacks and slow progress I’m still very much enjoying trying to complete them. As regular readers of the blog will know I do like to go back and repeat some of the activities I’ve particularly enjoyed – baking being the most obvious case.

Another of the challenges I’ve been enjoying has been travelling to new countries (with the exception of Romania late last year – I’ve never blogged about it as it would turn into a bit of an angry rant about the Romanian Geological Society and one member of it particularly). I’m very lucky in that my work gets me travelling quite a lot and one of my recent trips was sufficiently full of out of the comfort zone incidents that it is worth blogging about.

The trip in question was to Nice and the Park National Geologique around Digne les Bains in France. Ah! You may be thinking, surley you’ve been to France before! Well, yes, I have been there a few times in the last 3 years, several times with work for short visits to Paris and two of the nicest, most relaxing holidays I’ve ever had with the Wilmott family in Boise. Another trip to France doesn’t then obviously fit with out of the comfort zone theme of this blog. However, on this particular trip everything that could go wrong did go wrong and hence my mis-quote from Heraclitus in the title.

In May I was asked to assist with an MSc Engineering Geology field trip to southern France. This should have been wonderful – a week of tramping through the mountains looking at rocks, what could be more fun? Well it started with forgetting my drivers licence and catching the plane by the skin of my teeth then arriving in Nice to find they had no record of my reservation at the hotel – but this was just a warm-up for what was to come.

A couple of shots of some of the glorious weather and scenery we had (when things weren't going wrong!)

The following day I had to drive my car load of students (6) into the centre of Nice to get them their dinner. Southern French drivers have a “relaxed” attitude towards the rules of the road and the safety other road users/pedestrians/pets but thankfully, with less than half a dozen near misses, I made it to the town centre and squeezed the Ford Galaxy into a multi storey carpark. We had a lovely meal in Nice and then it was time to head back to the hotel – sadly this involved having an argument with a French parking attendant – who finished our animated discussion with “entente cordiale fini – dead, dead!” accompanied by making throat slitting gestures (I did get the car out though!).

The following days continued in the same spirit – too many incidents to mention, but the highlights were…………..

·         Driving along many many narrow roads with 300 foot drops and no safety barriers (and having to hang the back end of the people carrier off the edge of a cliff Italian Job style whilst doing a 3 point turn.

·         Losing a wheel on the hire car due a collision with, ironically enough, a landslide.

·         A 100km taxi ride to Gap to pick up a new hire car (see above) with a suicidal French taxi driver.

·         Getting lost in Monaco and accidentally doing a la of the Grand Prix circuit (it was in full GP set-up with painted curbs and everything J

·         One student leaving a ruc-sack by the side of the road, subsequently stolen with passport and purse in it.

·         One student getting sprained ankle on side of mountain and another being stung by a madussa jelly fish.

·         Leaving two students behind in Nice as they weren’t let on the flight home (see stolen passport above – it’s ok they’re home now though).

·         Another student being accused of shoplifting at Nice airport (he was innocent and released in time to catch the plane).

One of the students attempted to write a list of what had happened half way through the week  (see photo). Thankfully we all made it home ok in the end despite all the incidents it was still a good trip away – some wonderful scenery and a fantastic visit to Monaco at the end – driving on the Mediterranean coast in the chaos started stressful as hell but became v enjoyable in the end – and that is what being out of the comfort zone is all about J.

Matt's list of everything that had happened by day 5

 

Monaco

 

Team China - two of them had to stay behind in Paris for 2 weeks due to the lost passport (at Newcastle Uni's expense)

 

This little dog stole one of the lecturers shoes!

 

 

 

Hi-ho, Mouse!? Away!

Back in April I took advantage of a bank holiday weekend to get one of the challenges crossed of the list – I remembered to post some photos on Facebook but neglected to actual get the bog post sorted. So, this is a bit on the late side but this is how it went…………

I’d actually been looking forward to completing this one and had started to make plans to do it last year either in the lakes or up near Alnwick on the north east coast. When I realised I would have time (and more importantly good weather) in April I crossed the lakes off as being a bit too far to go for an hours riding so I confined the options to closer to home.

Looking about – the local riding schools specialise in training in a yard on a rope – just going around in circles. I’m sure the schools know what they’re doing and this probably is the best way to learn but I was really just after a taster session and wanted to go for a trek (preferably with some nice countryside to view – even if it might be in a bit of a blur depending upon the friskiness of the horse involved!).

A lot of phone calls and emails over the space of a week narrowed my search down to one option – Sinderhope stables near Allendale on the Northumberland Moors  -grew up not far away and the countryside on a nice day is breath taking. The woman on the phone sounded very nice and was confident they’d be able to find a riding hat to fit my big head.

Despite growing up about 20 miles away – finding the place took some doing due to my legendary navigation skills but with 10 minutes to spare before the trek was due to start I arrived.

Sinderhope riding school

As I pulled up in the car I did start to worry a bit. Horses are rather big creatures and falling off one would be a long way down – what if my horse suddenly took a dislike to me and decided it would be better off without some lump sat on top of it? Or decided the other side of the valley looked more appealing and set off at gallop? I was reminded of a passage I read in a Terry Pratchet novel (going Postal) a little while ago………..

“Hobson had tried Boris as a racehorse and he would have been a very good one were it not for his unbreakable habit, at the off, of attacking the horse next to him and jumping the railings at the first bend. Mist clapped one hand on to his hat, wedged his toes into the belly band and hung onto the reins as broadway all at once, carts and people blurring past, his eyeballs pressing into his head……. Hobson was right, you couldn’t steer him with a mallet, but at least he was heading in the right direction, which was away from his stable. Boris didn’t want to spend the days kicking bricks out of his stable wall while waiting to throw the next bumptious idiot – he wanted to bite the horizon. He wanted to run.” Copyright Terry and lynn Pratchet, 2004 – I’m hoping they don’t mind me borrowing this small bit of text.

The office for the school was in a farmhouse kitchen (with a cardboard box full of new-born lambs in the centre of the room. The woman who ran the school was very nice found me a helmet and assured me that they had just the right horse for a beginner – he was a big thing but as docile as could be, didn’t like being at the front and was called Mouse.

10 minutes later I was sat ontop of mouse in a group that included 3 other beginners and two guides – both called Emma I think. As I’d been told Mouse was a gentle giant and was in no mood to throw me off or make a dash for it – in fact he seemed very happy to have his nose 6 inches from the horse in fronts bum. It tried a bit of steering but Mouse clearly though he knew better about where we were going and ignored me.

Mouse - a very big horse!

We set off at a sedate pace along a stretch of road for about 20 minutes and then the guides decided we could try trotting for a bit – this was rather uncomfortable for me! The guide told me to bounce on the sadle and try and time it with Mouse’s movements, what actually happened is no matter what I did we stayed perfectly out of phase and I repeatedly hit the saddle with my bits! Thankfully we got off the road and settle down to a walk and I could spend the remainder of the trek enjoying the scenery – chatting to my fellow learners and Mouse even allowed me to do a bit of steering.

View from on top of Mouse - once we'd stopped trotting!

We got back to the stables after an hour and I was surprised that I didn’t feel to sore. I got of Mouse, helped get him into a jacket and gave him a couple of treats, I was rewarded for this by being given a bit of a lick.

All in all I’d rate horse riding as one of the most fun challenges I’ve completed and recommend it to anyone. I hope I’ll try it again sometime but I’d better keep going with the rest of the challenges first J.

 

Poetry Please

Remembering a conversation with Laura from last weekend suddenly got me worrying, its been 3 months since my last post! Not only does this mean that I'm not crossing anymore challenges off the list having effectively stalled on this whole enterprise - but I'm actually in danger of going backwards! One of the challenges that I was busy patting myself on the back for at the end of last year was writing this blog about my progress, but technically it's only completed when everything is done if I don't keep it up then I'm back down to 6 rather than 7 challenges sorted.

To be fair I have been making some progress - just not blogging about it. I've been busy on the learning a craft challenge and hope to have some pictures of my finished handiwork to post here in the next month. I've also done the horse riding challenge but never got around to writing the post, my practising with the uke is still not hitting the high notes but I feel I have made some progress.

However, it's twenty past eleven on a school night, I've just got in from the cinema and I'm not quite up to writing about any of the above - but I need to get something down. A flash of inspiration on the number one bus on the way home made me think about writing a short poem - alas no further inspiration was forthcoming about what the poem should be about. I did read an article on the bbc website about a poem with no words (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-27680904) but that would be cheating - this did get me on to thinking about a poem I was introduced to by an old friend and fellow blogger a few years back that sums my situation up quite well................

The Old Sailorby A.A. Milne

There was once an old sailor my grandfather knew
Who had so many things which he wanted to do
That, whenever he thought it was time to begin,
He couldn't because of the state he was in.

He was shipwrecked, and lived on a island for weeks,
And he wanted a hat, and he wanted some breeks;
And he wanted some nets, or a line and some hooks
For the turtles and things which you read of in books.

And, thinking of this, he remembered a thing
Which he wanted (for water) and that was a spring;
And he thought that to talk to he'd look for, and keep
(If he found it) a goat, or some chickens and sheep.

Then, because of the weather, he wanted a hut
With a door (to come in by) which opened and shut
(With a jerk, which was useful if snakes were about),
And a very strong lock to keep savages out.

He began on the fish-hooks, and when he'd begun
He decided he couldn't because of the sun.
So he knew what he ought to begin with, and that
Was to find, or to make, a large sun-stopping hat.

He was making the hat with some leaves from a tree,
When he thought, "I'm as hot as a body can be,
And I've nothing to take for my terrible thirst;
So I'll look for a spring, and I'll look for it first."
Then he thought as he started, "Oh, dear and oh, dear!
I'll be lonely tomorrow with nobody here!"
So he made in his note-book a couple of notes:
"I must first find some chickens" and "No, I mean goats."

He had just seen a goat (which he knew by the shape)
When he thought, "But I must have boat for escape.
But a boat means a sail, which means needles and thread;
So I'd better sit down and make needles instead."

He began on a needle, but thought as he worked,
That, if this was an island where savages lurked,
Sitting safe in his hut he'd have nothing to fear,
Whereas now they might suddenly breathe in his ear!

So he thought of his hut ... and he thought of his boat,
And his hat and his breeks, and his chickens and goat,
And the hooks (for his food) and the spring (for his thirst) ...
But he never could think which he ought to do first.

And so in the end he did nothing at all,
But basked on the shingle wrapped up in a shawl.
And I think it was dreadful the way he behaved -
He did nothing but bask until he was saved!

smart bloke that Alan Milne - time to get a bit more organised and getting some more of these challenges :-)

p.s. if you want to listen tto more authoritative ramblings about poetry then I can highly recommend poetry please on Radio 4 - http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006qp7q - it's been the source of most of my research thus far.

p.p.s. if you want to read some of the blog by the friend that introduced me to the above poem check out the entry from March 7th 2006 at this link - http://drjosadventures.blogspot.co.uk/2006_03_01_archive.html

half baked

It isn’t one of this year’s challenges but I did say I would keep going with the baking. I’ve been keeping myself quite busy on this as I wanted to start making more of my own bread and I also wanted to make my own musli bars (I spend far too much on these) - you can see what I’ve been making below.

For the bread I’ve just been making basic bread mixes – white buns and wholemeal buns – these are just white or brown bread flour with a bit of yeast, salt, oil and honey. The white buns went very well but I had some problems activating the yeast on the wholemeal ones – I knew thing hadn’t gone so well when the bread didn’t rise whilst proving but decided to bake them anyway just to see what the result was – as you can see in the photo it resulted in some very small buns with the density of iron!

For the muesli bars I went with two different recipes, one from weight watchers and one from Nigella Lawson. They both mainly consist of seeds, nuts, dried fruit and porridge oats. The main difference between the two was where the weight watchers recipe uses butter and honey to bind the ingredients together the Nigella one uses condensed milk. Both sets of bars taste very nice (even if I do say so myself) – but the Nigella recipe tastes nicer to me. The other plus on this is that the ingredients cost less than 7 pounds for 32 bars – quite a lot cheaper than the ones I’ve been buying at sainsbury’s.

I’ll keep going with the bread and post further progress here in the weeks/months to come

 

 

raw white rolls.......

 

 

 

a little odd shaped - but risen well

 

 

 

brown bread cannon balls

 

 

 

missing muesli bars

 

 

 

the Nigella version

 

 

 

the weight watchers version (with one piece missing for quality control purposes)

 

a crafty blog post

We’re into February and am conscious that I don’t want to get to the end of this year without completing the (now extended) 12 labours. I’ve been making a start on the learn a craft challenge – it was agreed at New Year that as part of this making a friendship bracelet for each of the friends present should be part of completing this.

I was aware of friendship bracelets when I was a kid (and I may even have made one before though my memory is pretty hazy) but I’d be lying if I really understood what they are all about so I’ve done a little reading on the subject. To summarise what I’ve found out……….

·         The origin of friendship bracelets is believed to be from the indigenous populations of central and southern America though there are also examples from Qin dynasty china.

·         They became popular in the US from the 1970s when they were worn at demonstrations, their popularity then spread around the world.

·         There are lots of designs though the basic form is two threads in a series of double knots.

·         If you are given one, once you have put it on you are not allowed to take it off until it wears out (then you’re supposed to make a wish or something – I hope the judging panel realise what this means! You have to wear the brightly coloured teenage girly bands that I make for you until they drop off!! I promise to find the most hardwearing thread I can!!

 

These are some of the designs that can be done - I might have

 to work up to this level of complexity

Ann sent me a link to a webpage on how to make basic bracelets soon after NYE and Laura took me shopping for the bits and pieces I needed (on Oxford Street – on January 2^nd – it was a bit busy to say the least). It took me a few weeks to start giving it a go but you can see my first goes in the photos below – one of the bracelets I’ve made so far is more of a friendship bookmark but I’m not too disappointed with my efforts so far.

 

assembly - bit tricky not just making a gigantic knot

 

 

One friendship bracelet and one friendship bookmark - 6 more to go!

To be continued

This post was intended to be a review of how everything went in 2013 – I hope to do this in a future post - but a number of attempts at writing that post have ended in a bit of a mess so better just to give an update on basic success/failure and where I go from here…… so here goes………..

Well, I didn’t finish the twelve original challenges in 2013 – and I have a further confession to make, I have not spent a day in public wearing a Sunderland FC football shirt (the forfeit that the adjudicating panel demanded on NYE 2012). I think I therefore have some explaining to do!

First things first, I have to explain my lack of success with the twelve labours. Well, the best I can come up with was that it was a busy year (mostly in a very good way). Looking back I can honestly say that given everything else that was going on it was always going to be hard to do everything in the spirit I had intended. I didn’t want to get into a habit of just ticking the challenges off without them being genuine experiences. Of the 6 I did complete I only think I took the soft option on the religion challenge – and I wasn’t/am not ready for a religious conversion!! On the positive side, I completed 6 new years resolutions and there’s not many people who can claim that. More importantly, those challenges did take me out of the comfort zone and inspired other activities that made it a great year.

Now there is the small matter of the forfeit – why haven’t I done it? Well, the truth is I just point blank refused when pressed by the panel. In my view the idea of the challenges was to get out of the comfort zone which I had done – the forfeit was just an exercise in humiliation. Much better just to keep going and finish the job off! To this end I explained the challenges I believe I had completed to the panel in Cask, Pimlico, London on NYE (now joined by Charlotte Smith – welcome to the jury Charlotte!) and it was agreed that I had only 6 of the original tasks left to do. These are…….

• Learn a craft (it was agreed that making one friendship bracelet per committee member would be sufficient).
• Participate in a team sport
• Get a poem published in the evening chronicle
• Join and participate in an amateur dramatics society
• Ride a horse
• Learn to play the ukulele (properly!)

To compensate for needing an additional 12 months to finish these off, two additional challenges will be set. These are…………..

X. Dye hair unusual colour

And

Y. An additional challenge voted for by blog readers, suggestions have been – run a half marathon dressed as a woman, get my legs waxed, busking with ukulele on Northumberland street, serenade a couple I have married (in my role as ordained minister) with ukulele. Any more suggestions are welcome and I’ll set up a vote in an upcoming blog – one thing I would  like you to consider as that the purpose behind the challenges is getting out of the comfort zone, not just humiliating me ;-).

 

I’ll continue the blog with updates on my progress throughout the year J

Let there be light!

Another week and another of the challenges crossed off. As of this evening I am now officially a minister of the universal life church. I have received confirmation of this from the ordaining officer of said church…………

“Let it be known on this date that in accordance with the laws of the Universal Life Church Monastery, as ordaining officer, I, Brother Martin, do ordain you into our ministry. From this day forward, you are entitled to all of the rights of an ordained minister. You have the authority to perform marriages, baptisms, and all other ceremonies of the church. You are an independent minister of this church. This is a position that carries with it a burden of responsibility; please respect others and comply with the laws of the land.”

a hard copy (without the watermark) is on the way

If you want to find out a bit more about the church I have joined then you can check it out at http://www.themonastery.org/ . Other ministers of the church include 3 Beatles, Richard Branson and Joey from friends.

Becoming a minister was rather easy to do (just fill in an online form). But I have to admit that when it came to sorting it out I was a little uncomfortable about signing up as a minister as I am an atheist. Thankfully, the Universal Life Church is quite ok about this and is happy to allow me to be a Humanist minister and stick to the rules of the church which are essentially be nice to people and let them believe what they want.

It’s a little early to start performing wedding ceremonies (though I will be happy to perform these in future). So I celebrated my new calling by bringing a little light into the world – well, not the light of the lord, and not to the world in general but the light of nPower to my living room – by replacing the light switch.